The miracle of blaming (Satire)
Saturday, November 12, 2011 by: Mike Bundrant
(NaturalNews) I thought I'd do something a little different this time and offer my best advice on how to make your life easier through the miracle of blaming. If you follow my advice, you are nearly guaranteed to feel better for a few minutes.
All of us can make a list of things we know in our heart of hearts we really should be doing to take better care of ourselves. Yet, we often do NOT do what we know we should. When you don't feel like doing your best, just blame someone else or some life circumstance and "presto" - you are off the hook for a while!
Here are my favorite ways to avoid responsibility. Make the most of them!
Blame your parents.
Insist to yourself that if your parents had done a better job raising you, life would be MUCH different. Don't worry about working out your differences with them, they wouldn't understand anyway.
Blame your spouse.
If your husband, wife or significant other would just do his or her part and stop being so difficult and stressing you out all the time, then you'd be free to do your part. You need to convince him or her to shape up so that you can too.
Blame your kids.
Kids these days are so disrespectful. They have no idea how tough it is to be a parent. If your kids would listen, obey and maintain your trust, then you could be the parent you know you should be. You'd also have time to go to the gym.
Blame your doctor.
If health care practitioners knew what they were doing, then you would be well. Remember, it is up to THEM to give you health and vitality.
Blame your language.
Explain to yourself that you shouldn't be placing all these high expectations on yourself by telling yourself that you SHOULD be doing anything at all. Stop "shoulding" on yourself and realize you only have to do what you want. That's realistic.
Blame THEM.
Remember, THEY are the ones creating the problems that you must endure. If only they would cooperate and make life easier...
Blame yourself.
Remember, you are worthless and incapable. How can you possibly expect the best from yourself with such low self-esteem? Let yourself off the hook and stop thinking you can do so much. What's so handy about blaming yourself is that you are also indirectly blaming the people who raised you (for making you who you are, of course). So, you kill two birds with one stone here. Better yet, no one really has the guts to call your deep bluff on this one.
Blame immortality.
You're never going to die or get any kind of disease. Besides, all that is uncomfortable to think about. Just do what feels good in the moment and keep yourself distracted from such scary issues.
Blame death.
We're all going to die someday anyway. We might as well enjoy life while it lasts. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you could get hit by a bus.
Blame your finances.
If you were only rich, then you could afford to take better care of yourself. You could hire a personal chef or something.
Blame your busy schedule.
You are so busy. People who take good care of themselves aren't very busy. They have it so easy.
Blame whatever comes to mind!
Remember, ANYTHING or ANYONE can be used as an excuse. Get creative. You are only limited by your sense of personal responsibility.
Practice these and other valuable excuses and they will soon become part of you. Before you know it, you won't be merely making excuses, you will be living them. Imagine, all those pesky responsibilities won't even register anymore and you'll always feel completely justified in doing less than your best.
About the author:
Mike Bundrant is the founder of the iNLP Center, which offers online NLP training to help you multiply your effectiveness in every area of life. To receive a free personal development mini-course, visit iNLP Center.
Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/034127_blaming_parents.html#ixzz1datxwd1T
