Initiation by Elizabeth Haich:
Under the chapter HE.
I have left out the inverted commas....throughout…..
Father of my soul, I say, as I arise, I want initiation.
Ptahhotep asks, do you know what initiation is? What does it mean to you when you say you want to be initiated?
I don't know exactly what it consists of, but I want to be omniscient. I feel like a prisoner in my body, as if I were feeling my way round in darkness, completely at the mercy of invisible forces I do not know and therefore cannot control. I want to be able to see everything clearly, I want to be all-knowing like you and father and the other initiates.
Ptahhotep answers, Initiation means becoming conscious. You are now conscious to a degree corresponding to the resistance of your nerves and body. When a person becomes conscious to a higher spiritual degree, he automatically guides higher, stronger, more penetrating powers into his body. For this reason he must also raise the level of resistance of his nerves and body. To achieve the supreme, divinely creative degree of consciousness, while at the same time increasing the resistance of the nerves to the supreme degree in order to be able to endure this divine condition without harm to the body - that's what initiation means. Initiation also entails omnipotence and omniscience.
I understand, Father of my Soul, and that is just exactly what I am longing for.
Ptahhotep looks at me silently for a time, and I feel his glance going completely through every fibre of my being.
Finally he says, you will be initiated, but not now. You are not ready for it yet in every respect. You have not yet learnt to control the divine creative power within your body. And if you make yourself conscious of this power on the spiritual plane before having learned to control it in its physical manifestation, this would mean a very great danger for you.
What kind of danger, Father of my Soul?
There would be the danger of your possibly burning your nerve centres. If you achieve the highest level of spiritual consciousness and thus acquire control over this power you could do yourself great harm by guiding this power into your lower nerve centres. In this case your consciousness would sink lower than the level at which it was born in this life. You have no experience yet in the guidance of this power. The awakening of consciousness must begin on the lowest level in the scale of manifestations, because then you will only be guiding into your body power corresponding to the level of your development, ie power your nerves can bear without harm. In this way the nerves have strong enough resistance to carry the forces conducted into them.
Father of my Soul, I reply, what does it mean to conduct divine power into the body and to experience this power in the body? How can I learn to know and control this power in its physical manifestation? If that’s how initiation begins and I must first go through this experience then I’d like to do it immediately so that I can prepare myself for the higher initiation.
Up to now Ptahhotep’s divinely noble face had been as motionless as an alabaster statue, with only his eyes glowing brightly. But now as these words of mine the calm features of his face break out into a smile, while his eyes radiate even more light and more understanding.
(a little later in the para)……
Father of my Soul, I reply, why do you ask when you refuse to initiate me. I have no other wishes, no other thoughts – only initiation. Please give me initiation.
(later….) All that night I can’t sleep again, and all the next day I pace back and forth in my room, as restless and unhappy as the trained lions in the lion’s court. Through being born into my body, my consciousness has been dulled and deadened; I feel as I were in perpetual darkness. I want to see clearly even though I am imprisoned in the body. I want to know. I want to be initiated! Why should I wait? If love is a matter of indifference to me now, it will still be when I am initiated and omniscient. I already know that physical love is only a necessity of nature to carry on the race. Why should it be dangerous for me not to know this from experience? I have my intellect and my consciousness and they will protect me from this danger. I won’t fall into nature’s trap, the trap of love. I’ll be able to resist this temptation all right……
In this manner I brood all day long. By the time evening comes again, I just can’t stand it any longer. I take my veil and go again with Menu through the long colonnade to the temple, to Ptahhotep. I want to tell him that I’m not afraid of this temptation, that I’ll be strong enough, that he can initiate me.
Oh how blind I was! How foolish! As if Ptahhotep had not seen the future clearly. As if he had not known how everything was going to turn out. But even he must obey the divine law and watch patiently, as I run headlong into my undoing…. Watch patiently head over heels into an abyss, only to have to climb out later by my own strength.
He receives me again in his little reception room. I enter, bow, and tell him with all the determination I can muster, Father of my Soul, I wanted to obey you, but I cannot. I long so much for knowledge that I’ve come back again. I cannot see why I should wait when I’m absolutely sure I have enough strength to withstand the temptations of physical love. I am strong enough. I have self control. Please give me initiation.
At this Ptahhotep closes his shining eyes and remains motionless a long time. I wait with inward impatience but outwardly without moving a muscle in order not to disturb him. Finally, Ptahhotep opens his eyes. He stands up, comes over to me, takes up my hands in his, and says, Three times you have asked to be initiated. Three times, despite my refusal. It is a law that when a member of the tribe of the Sons of God asks three times to be initiated, we cannot refuse him any longer. It is a sign that initiation is necessary for him, regardless of the danger he may risk as a result of it. I will speak to your physical father. We will need to discuss how you can carry on your duties during the time of initiation. Other neophytes normally live in the temple during this time, but with you we will have to make an exception because you have to fulfil the duties of the wife of the Pharaoh. Now go in peace.
I feel like throwing myself about his neck to thank him for giving me his permission to be initiated, but I prefer to show him I can control myself. I stand motionless, and my eyes express my joy. Ptahhotep smiles at me and says, what you’ve done in thought, you’ve already done, don’t ever forget it!
Oh, Father, if you already regard me as having done it, then I will really! And with that I throw myself into his arms and kiss his noble face, right and left. I thank you, I thank you! How wonderful! I am going to be initiated! Initiated!
Yes I can see you have tremendous self control, says Ptahhotep. Only now, Father, I answer with a joyous laugh, only now. After all, you’re now only the high priest, but my own blood uncle. So I can kiss you, can’t I? But when I’m initiated, you will see how serious I am and how much self control I have!
Yes, I know, says Ptahhotep, embracing me lovingly. Then he strokes my hand and leads me to the door. We take leave of each other.
Dancing and skipping, practically walking on air, I go back to the palace with Menu. I am infinitely happy. ……
Chapter - Sons of God:
The next day the Pharaoh summons me. I am to see him after his audience. At the appointed hour the controller of the royal household comes and escorts me to father.
Come my child, says he, I want to tell you what Ptahhotep and I have agreed about your initiation. ……….
Once there lived on earth a race of people very different from the races living today. They manifested completely the law of spirit and not the law of matter like the races of people living today. These people were conscious on the divine plane and manifested God here on earth without any admixture of the self-seeking characteristics of the body, In their divine purity, these people deserved the name ‘the Sons of God’.
Their entire life was based on spirituality, love, and selflessness. And they had no physical appetites, urges and passions to cast shadows on the spirit. The members of this high race possessed all the secrets of nature, and as they were perfectly acquainted with their own powers and kept these powers completely under the control of the spirit, they were also able to control and guide nature with all its tremendous forces. Their knowledge was boundless. They did not need to earn their bread with physical toil and instead of earning their livelihoods with the sweat of their brow, they put the forces of nature to work. ……
Chapter - Years of Preparation:
The great initiation means consciously experiencing the vital energy and creative vibrations of eternal being, experiencing these vibrations on every plane of development and in their original frequency, without transformation, and simultaneously conducting these vibrations into the nerves of the body. This naturally requires a corresponding amount of resistance which can be obtained through physical and spiritual training. That means that one must slowly and cautiously prepare and awaken the appropriate nerve centres and learn to control them. Initially you will receive this physical and spiritual training from Mentuptah, the leader of the school of neophytes. In your concentration exercises, Ima_____ and Ptahhotep points to the neophyte who brought me here____ will help you. When you have passed your preparatory tests given you by Mentuptah and Ima, you will receive further training and your initiation under my guidance. Now Ima will take you to the neophyte school and give you everything you need for the beginning. If you want to speak to them during your training, you can arrange to see me any evening. May God guide your further steps. …………………………..
Now I am getting along better. Thoughts can no longer reach me and really disturb me. Previously I was still in the world of thoughts – among the thoughts. My thoughts were able to push me to and fro. But I did not let myself be pushed around. I stayed put just where I was.
Chapter – Mist and Re-Awakening:
Do you remember what I told you in Egypt before your initiation: if you fall you have to experience all your initiation dreams in reality on earth, for dreams are nothing other than realities in the non-material, vision forming energy world of mankind. And what you call ‘reality’ is also only a dream…….only a projection of the self which has been dreamed into the material plane, into the atmosphere of the earth. And all the tests which you failed to pass once, or even several times, come again and again in your life so that you can again become an initiate, a useful co-worker in the great plan. ……..
(much later in book)……And I jump up, from one to the next, easily, happily, and joyously…. I know the way… I remember….Oh God! I remember! All these events I’ve been experiencing several thousand years ago in my initiation in the pyramid. At that time all these events were lying in the depths of my soul as unconscious, still latent energies, still pure cause.
This is because everything that happens here on earth is the materialisation of a complete, accomplished cause waiting on the spiritual plane for materialisation. When one achieves the ability consciously to reach the depths of the self where those energies are awaiting their realisation, one experiences cause simultaneously with the effect – the future – as a complete and perfect present!
And the present, our life, everything that happens to us is merely an opportunity to relax the tensions and dissolve away the stresses we have stored up within ourselves, for aeons and aeons of time, by our thoughts, words and deeds…. The tensions and stresses that are the cause of our destiny, our future. To the extent that we are able to become conscious of these tensions and overcome them, we free our human consciousness which is tied down by these energies and limited because it is tied down, and we identify our consciousness with the true divine self waiting behind every personal feeling of ego…. We identify ourselves with God….
And that is INITIATION !
THE SELF IS LIFE AND THE ONLY REALITY, AND WHOEVER IS INITIATED INTO THE SELF – AND IN THIS WAY HAS COME TO KNOW HIMSELF COMPLETELY – LOVES EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE EQUALLY, FOR HE IS ONE WITH THEM.
(END extracts from Elizabeth Haich's book Initiation).
NB..... I had intended to put this in my blog
"The Sphinx"(The Christ) (The Spirit of Atlantis)
but it had too many words and would be less easy to read done in three or four portions. Pat.