Log: 29 February 2012
When I got home last night I was so exhausted I could barely think straight. I planed this huge ritual on leap year day, a special ritual. Yet when I got home after a really hard day at the office, being told that I had to submit a 50 page report to request funding for the Foundation I work for, THAT DAY.
I was beat, and in NO mood for a ritual of that scale and intensity, I felt drained.
Si I sat down at my computers and thought of what the heck I will just check my mails and sleep. Unfortunately the watch said it was 8:00 pm... Not sucha great time to go to sleep at all. I would just be up around two.
At 8:30 pm I just gave up, and switched all my stuff of, and got ready for sleep.
As a consolation the moon was out and really beautiful so I decided I might as well charge my favorive crystals under the moon next to the hunk of rose quarts that live on my balcony.
So I opened the wood box, and place the crystals, the neckless I have in there that i wear when I need severe protection, and the rest of my others under which there is a Angel stone and a herkame Diamond. in the lis and base so that they would benifit from the moon energy.
I left my balconay door half way open as it was really hot inside. Got in bed and fell into a very deep sleep. Which is funny for me as I sleep very little.
Through the whole night I had one long boring dream, that just was exactly the same, again and again and again and again..... Grrrrrrr
This is what I dreamed, I was driving in a pickup, a light blue one, on a road through a semi desert. I was sitting in the passenger side arm on the window staring out the window, thinking of nothing at all.
Next to me was another woman, I realised it was my mother, but not the one I have now. And driving was someone I know very well. A friend I care for very deeply, that has helped me through quite a few rough patches. He had dark glases on and did not speak, took his driving very seriously.
We got to a town and he stoped next to a water tower. On the back of the pickup was a variety of containers, and I filled each one of them with cool crystal clear water from the water tower (that was painted red). When I was done I got back in the Pickup and off we went through the town and out on the road again.
We arived at the next town and I he stoped at another water tower,, also red. I got out and started refilling the containers, which was bone dry. So I refilled then once again, got back in the pickup and off we went. That is all that happened through the whole dream. Town after town... wach time no water in the containers at the next time.
What I did notice was that the scenery kept changing, the 2 in the pickup never got out. I was the only one that did. It was the weirdest thing ever.
Eventually I gor fed up with the dream and woke myself up, nicely it was 2am. Even weirder is that I never really dream, I walk others dreams and mostly the realms all night, and i know those are not dreams as I do that consiously, with body in stasis mode.
I lay there in bed going... freaken odd!!!!!!
Then got up and fetched my crystals in as i did not want the sun to rise on them ans spoil the whole reason for them beinf in the moon. I walked out on the balcony and it was so nice and cool out, the stone tiles under my feet was cooled down and dry.
As I bend down to pick up the crystals something seemed odd about it, and as I looked the box and the lid was half filled with water. It did not rain, and I did not put the water there.
I was baffled. So I let the water drain over the Rose quartz and took the box and its contents inside. Found a brown towl, no other would do. Placed it on my table and unpacked the contents on it, then I dried the box, closed the lid, and covered all of it and the crystals with the other side of the towel.
I was contemplating this, lying in bed waiting for my alarm to go off. It just made no sense.
Then slowly I started wondering about the water dream and suddenly the water in the wood box. How did it get there as I know it did not rain. Even dew would not fill the box half way, its not possible.
All I will say is that this is a awsome blessing....
In the morning I googled the meaning of water and this is what I found.
Water is life mater and matrix. There is no life without water.
The symbolism of water has a universal undertone of purity and fertility. Symbolically, it is often viewed as the source of life itself as we see evidence in countless creation myths in which life emerges from primordial waters.
Interestingly, we are all made of water, and so we can liken many of these myths and allegories to our own existence (the macrocosm mirroring the microcosm and vice versa). Further, we can incorporate symbolism of circulation, life, cohesion and birth by associating the creative waters of the earth with the fluids found in our own body (i.e., blood).
In Taoist tradition, water is considered an aspect of wisdom. The concept here is that water takes on the form in which it is held and moves in the path of least resistance. Here the symbolic meaning of water speaks of a higher wisdom we may all aspire to mimic.
The ever-observant ancient Greeks understood the power of transition water holds. From liquid, to solid, to vapor - water is the epitomal symbol for metamorphosis and philosophical recycling.
Among the first peoples of North America, water was considered a valuable commodity (particularly in the more arid plains and western regions) and the Native Americans considered water to be a symbol of life (further solidifying the symbol affixed in many creation myths).
So it is also with the ancient Egyptians as we learn their beloved (and heavily relied upon) Nile river is akin to the birth canal of their existence.
A quick list of symbolic meanings for water include (but are not limited to):
I would really like to hear what other think, as this was baffeling to say the least.
What I did get from this is, that this work is constant, we refill the energy from a source and spread it where it needs to go. That it is a important job, this tedious repeated choir to revill and spread and refill and spread.
It felt like being reminded that I give so much of myself so freely to all out there, and that I do become empty, and it does feel tedious and never ending. Yet it is important to share so freely, as the energy that is spread quenshes the thirst of the semi desert in the souls of so many.
The water in the box of the crystals was a sign that this dream was not just a dream but a clear message, as one of the stones in that box is a Celestite. To me it confirms a question I have asked in a really angry tone.
I asked "WHY am I doing this work, opening myself and sharing my energy so freely, just to get bitten by those I share with. Just lightly talking to someone mean I share the energy, the water of life, freely. Does any of this mean anything. Does it have ANY value at all."
I guess this dream and then the sign just confirmed to me that to share of ourself, we share the energy.
Picking up that box and realising that there were water in it while everything is dry around it, made me think of the bible story with the fleace. It hit home really hard and I spend the whole day contemplating all this, and talking to my animal guides and listening to the energy.
It made me realise afresh that when we share so freely and lovingingly, there are those that cant handle that amount of love or are not ready to feel that energy yet. I have been told many times by people that the way I radiate love in energy, makes them wonder what they have been doing all this time. (that kinds confused me)
The last few weeks has had me reflecting on the reason I spend so much time listening to peoples problems, their pain, helping in any way I can. I started to feel that its not worth it anymore, it just open me to hurting. Yet I understand the work I do, the reason, I do this and the results it bring.
I was empty depleted, and could not refill fast enough. I gave so much and never really refilled properly. I cant keep giving unless I stop and refill more often.
A great reminder and conformation of how awsome this life is, and that no matter what people say or do, you stand in your own truth and keep sharing the water of life. It flow over people and some revolt, but it leaves a mark on them that will grow, and in time they will seek the water of life as well.
Unconditional love, flow freely and there is nothing that can stem its flow, all we need to do is accept it.