Self-Grace: A Breath Just For You! By Terra Lea

We hear the words self-love, and self-acceptance, maybe we tend to those actions.

And how often do we give ourselves grace?

If we define self-grace as spaciousness, a release from judgement and shame, a remembrance that we are doing what we can in the times we are in, that nothing exists in a vacuum, all of what we experience in life is a result of the stew of geography, culture, history, genetics, biology and the current ecology of relationship.

Causes and conditions to which we have small daily choices to make. What to focus on? What to give my precious resource of energy to? Where to withdraw my time, attention and care? Where to mindfully say, ‘no’, and when to say jubilantly YES!

With family visiting, we went on a whale watching cruise, a once in a lifetime adventure. As we neared the coast of an island, the captain of the ship spoke on the speaker system, and with a careful whisper said, “Everyone please look to your left.”

We moved quietly and quickly, prepared for whatever wildlife we might encounter, and there they were; a whole family of orca whales. The male orcas with tall, black fins, smalller female orcas with much rounder fins. These weren’t just swimming from one place to another. Juveniles to the matriarch, dancing!

They threw themselves up into the air, flop on their backs flap their fins, and slap their tails with huge splashes. This didn’t go on just for a few minutes. It went on for 30 minutes— the whole time everyone on the ship quiet and attentive.

We knew that what we were watching was special, sacred. Human families watching a orca family celebrate together with so much love. We were told by the naturalist that this remarkable occurrence was the result of a feast. Everyone had eaten well and now they celebrated, this dance of slapping and smacking and creating so much noise on the water, so it might reverberate out along with their songs to other nearby whale families so that everyone would know and could celebrate too, that they were well fed and happy.

In Buddhist practice, mudita is sympathetic joy, an expression of compassion. This is a joyfilled feeling for someone else’s success. An advanced practice of love.

I just can’t stop thinking about this beautiful orca celebration, an invitation to practice a type of love that is sometimes difficult for me. There’s a tiny part of me that activates when I hear of someone’s excellent success, a small jealousy. Why not me?, I might think.

But if I turn my attention to feeling their joy, it truly is a wonderful thing. Really feeling it; I open myself to grace by offering this sympathetic joy. A blessing to me, to them, and rippling out, like waves on the sea.

Self grace begins with awareness of what is; in this moment. Not what I worry about, what might happen, or the past, but what is right here, right now. Resting for a minute or two in this space, I begin the enlivening of grace by offering myself a blessing. Here, my friends, is a blessing for you, for us, as we navigate the winds and waves of life.

May loving kindness begin close in,
with this breath, this body, this tender human heart.

May I meet myself gently,
without needing to improve, explain, or become anything else.
May what is weary be held.
May what is joyful be welcomed.
May what is uncertain have room to unfold.

May loving kindness move outward without effort—
to those I cherish,
to those I barely know,
to those whose lives I will never see,
and even toward the places where relationship is difficult.

May every being remember belonging.
May the frightened find safety.
May the lonely encounter companionship.
May the hungry be nourished.
May those who suffer be met with mercy.
May those who cause suffering awaken to tenderness.

May we recognize one another beneath all our defenses:
life meeting life,
each of us carrying joys and sorrows,
each of us wanting, in our own way, to be loved.

And may loving kindness be more than a feeling.
May it become the quiet shape of our participation;
in the words we choose,
the hands we extend,
the boundaries we honor,
the Earth we tend,
the small unseen acts through which love enters the world.

May I receive this life with gratitude.
May I offer myself to it with gentleness.

May all beings be held in love.
May all beings know peace.
May all beings be free.

And may we leave a little more room for love wherever we go.

P.S.

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