When we look deep inside ourselves, we should ask ourselves what makes us so happy that we don’t hide our happiness from others. What is it that separates us from the times when we were dissatisfied with ourselves? It is love. Love is the one and only thing which always leads us to happiness, inner satisfaction, peace, mutual understanding… First the love of ourselves, and then of everyone else.
Why don’t we allow happiness to knock on our door, what are we afraid of? First of all we are afraid of our own selves when we don’t admit to ourselves that it is good to be happy and that people who are unhappy won’t suffer due to our happiness. When we show our happiness to the outside world, it becomes a part of us. When we look within and tell ourselves, ‘I’m happy and I’m going to show this to everyone,’ those who envy us will gradually distance themselves from us all on their own, because our happiness will have made them even more painfully aware of their unhappiness and dissatisfaction they carry inside.
The path to happiness isn’t always easy, sometimes we need to get rid of all the clutter burdening us day after day, and find our place under the sun among our equals. Whenever we want to feel happy, we should start celebrating even the smallest part of our day which will bring us joy. At times we are afraid that other people won’t accept us the way we really are, so we conform to that belief and want to please others. At other times we fear that no one in our life will love us the way we are, so we create a desire to be different, to be the way that other people will like us. We suppress our true emotions and come across as cold, since we don’t dare to show what we are feeling in a certain moment because our feelings may not be consistent with what we think other people expect from us. So we grow increasingly similar to everyone else day by day, caught in the everyday mediocrity. But when we decide not to live for others anymore, we shall begin to live for ourselves, please ourselves and become who we truly are.
When we become who we really are, it is time to let go of everything we are not. If people around us disagree with our new image, it is their own problem, not ours. We can say to them, ‘I’m sorry I’m not the way you would like me to be, but this is my life.’
When we are changing, we encounter numerous obstacles on our way, but if we are self-confident, inwardly believe firmly that we can do it and that we are the ones who will succeed, it won’t be difficult to overcome any obstacle. But where do the patterns holding us back stem from? They are dormant within us and lead us through everyday life either consciously or unconsciously. The unconscious patterns have been part of us for a very long time, eventually they have become the emotional mental programme directing our life, our way of thinking… These are the things we have picked up from our parents, our environment, some we have cultivated ourselves… Then there are also the conscious patterns, our character… If we look within and observe ourselves, we will discover which of our characteristics can make us proud and which can’t. If we try and change everything we can about ourselves, and accept everything we cannot change, we are already on our way to our new image which will pave the way to our happiness and satisfaction. As long as we are dissatisfied with ourselves, we are annoyed by everything in other people as well. Only when we begin to accept ourselves, with all our pluses and minuses, with all our peculiarities, shall we find ourselves on the way to shaping our personal character we will eventually take pride in.