Blogs

Members are invited to contribute spiritual wisdom, teachings, channeled messages, uplifting content, healing sessions, and attunements to this network to bridge Heaven and Earth and unite Humanity as One.

Find your blog posts by visiting your profile page and clicking My Blog. 

Questions (1)

The Children were asked questions about the Old and

Posted by Melodie Munro on September 25, 2010 at 10:29am
Posted by Elizabeth CusovaBlessed wekend, smilesThe Children were asked questions about the Old andNew Testaments. The following statements about the Biblewere written by the children. They have not been correctedthus ( the incorrect spelling is their own ). I hope you enjoywhat the children wrote.....1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired ofcreating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark whichthe animals come on to in pears.3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire bynight.4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history theyhad trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray bya Jezebel like Delilah.6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of theApostles.7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they madeunleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the tenamendments.9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eatthe apple.10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admitadultery.11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. ThenJoshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told hisson to stand still and he obeyed him.13. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. Hefought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived inBiblical times.14. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700porcupines.15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, shesang the Magna Carta.16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, theyfound Jesus in the manager.17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculatecontraption.18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to doone to others before they do one to you. He also explained,"a man doth not live by sweat alone."20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead andmanaged to get the tombstone off the entrance.21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12decibels.22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.23. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was alsoa taxi man.24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holyacrimony, which is another name for marriage.25. Christians have only one spouse. This is calledmonotony._________________________All My Love & Prayers,
Read more…

Latest Blog Posts

Most Popular Blog Posts

Blog Topics by Tags

  • of (300)
  • - (207)
  • to (192)
  • in (121)
  • A (115)
  • a (104)
  • + (89)

Monthly Archives